Monday, November 21, 2011

Hold Your Devil By His Spoke And Spin Him To The Ground.

Happy Thanksgiving !!

Hello everyone. I hope everyone reading this had a nice weekend being thankful for all that went down this past year. Well, I don't have an enormous list of things that I'm thankful for because I've walked bare foot down and up the stairs of hell this year but hey, I'm alive. That is good, right? Even with the terrible bad cold I have right now lol.

    Even still, it's not enough for this experience called life. Just living? Existing? It's never been enough for me. There's like this lil beast inside that rages to do things, grow, stretch, test things to the limit. Life has to be intense, extreme even. I’m a Porsche that’s built to race, hugging the side of the road, screaming to go a little bit faster. There’s this yearning to feel, to taste all that can be experienced. And yet it’s sooo hard when you’re surrounded by endless lanes of blah. I find myself slowing down to plan for the next exit on the fwy. And lately my car has been stuck on idle.  For me, that’s worst than the engine dying.

So much of these has a lot to do with things around me. The government vainly marching its way down the circus of hell? The economy on a roller coaster? The once simple lives of many now being so complicated and twisted? The people who are unfortunately unaware of how beautiful this life could be? I look at the hate drowning slowly in the deep of our hearts and the destruction sneaking where greed dug holes in our minds. I see how much evil has come to dwell in our lives taking selves, one by one and how hypocrisy has left us blind. The blossom of love is over and I just can't help asking; when will the chosen one come to sow new ones?

They want to say we live in a perfect world. Perfection is defined without a flaw and I don't see a flawless world. I see a world full of hate, anger, greed, jealousy and despair. A world where children are dying, fetuses are aborted, innocent people are gunned down and murdered. A place where stereotypes lead to suicide and rape victims are just added to statistics. A world where war isn't a problem but more so; a solution. Where revolutions would not be possible without ammunition and humans would not be murdered if it weren't for hate. Pleads of help fill the streets and yet their begs continue to be unheard. Poverty is avoided and most people don't take the time to realize how lucky they are just to be alive.We're all led to believe that this is such a wonderful place and as human beings we are prone to be selfish, but there are some few who choose to be selfless. They choose to hear the soft cries of the lonely, broken and sorrowful tears of those who have lost all hope. We were all raised to be kind, polite and help each other as we were taught that God did create everything. Yes He did, but He didn't create evil. Evil only exists when you yourself create and walk into it.

Well amidst all these crazy outbursts of evil, The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you find only in movies. You expect the person to always say the right thing, and always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect the person to calm you down when you're yelling or to chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans but that's the thing; Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it. Love happens; and it is so incredibly messy that people around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient and painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. We can't breathe the same way or function quite right without it. See, that's the thing about love; you hold it up to all these images you've learned to attach to the word 'love' since you were little. We learn so many things about love before we are even capable of falling; "Don't rush in". "Keep steady". What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much work it takes. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.

"Love is a battlefield." never really made sense because it is contrary to everything we have been taught to believe; how 'love' is supposed to be. But it is so entirely different. Love isn't the person calming you down when you yell. It's the person yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't the person bringing you pretty things that make your relationship appear more presentable. It's after a long fight, that drains the life and bones right out of you both, and yet s/he showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. We are human beings. We don't handle one another, and we can't be handled. We are mutable creatures that need something different everyday; need something more or less to keep us going, to keep us believing that it's not all for nothing. So NO, it's not telling you everything is going to be all right, it's the person standing there, admitting s/he's just as scared as you are.

You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. you've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, "Here. Do what you will. Mash it into mince meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you, as long as you have it." That's the thing about love. It makes us crazy. It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the s**t out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it and it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and just feeling.


1, We Don't Eat - James Vincent McMorrow
To me, it's about someone whose been searching for faith in God throughout their life and then goes on to talk about humanity searching for the last 2000 years for God. I think the statements about "We don't eat until your father's at the table, We don't drink until the devil's turned to dust" is about doing things with faith/trust even though we don't entirely understand it.

2,  Are We There Yet? - Ingrid Michealson
I think this is simply about someone, maybe a couple, going through a rough time, and just hoping and waiting that someday everything will fall in to place.


Thursday, November 3, 2011

Lover To Lover.

 Hello Guys! How's everyone doing? Its been so long since I updated this blog; I'm almost embarrassed. Haha, I hope everyone is doing great? Have a nice read and feel up my comment feed. ;)

I guess its no news now that my Lover (Kim Kardashian) has filled for a divorce; merely 10weeks after wedding! LOL. Who remembers when I blogged to congratulate her? Read it Here. I remember saying stuffs about expecting a divorce from her in time but I didn't expect it to be this soon. I have come to know that the mind reflects upon the world...So when an experience is painted with our subjective colors of judgment, then the reflection of this world on our mind becomes personal, unique. That is why i would advice any sensibly sensitive individual,to try to captivate these moments of melancholy on paper,through either poems or articles. I'm here now to make another post for the dissolution of the marriage. The media frenzy of this divorce is CRAZY! I feel really shocked at somethings people allow to let loose from their voice boxes.

I have never felt that love I read about in books, that inexorable thing that made characters take all sorts of unlikely decisions, so I'm possibly the least person to make any witty comment about emotions and things of the heart, but I know that It's easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams..loving them? THAT is being naked. If there is one thing I know about love; Its that Love makes you shine like a star, exposing the full spectrum of your feelings and personality, in a way greater than you ever dreamed. Just as white light contains within it all the colours of the rainbow, love brings out all your colours and potential, the full realisation of everything good that is you. If this is all there is to love, and someone decides that She doesn't feel like she's shining, then Its left for her and her belief to do what she feels is right.

I'm trying so hard not to quote the scriptures because sometimes the bible is so conflicting in people's ideologies that it would spin my head, but to all those who are sending out mean Tweets and posting hate notes/name calling on her blog; In the bible, Jesus stops a group of people trying to stone a woman to death for the mistakes she made..He tells them, "let the person with no sin, throw the first stone." None of those people could throw a stone at her, because the truth was..they made mistakes too...And we all do, and the worst thing you can do when someone messes up, is be angry at them or play God.

In life we do things. Some we wish we had never done. Some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. But they all make us who we are, and in the end they shape every detail about us. If we were to reverse any of them we wouldn't be the person we are. So just live, make mistakes, have wonderful memories, but never ever second guess who you are, where you have been, and most importantly where it is you're going.

Song Beneath A Song.

When I was small, I used to sit in my bedroom for hours and listen to music. Sometimes I'd draw, sometimes I'd do homework, sometimes I'd read, but listening to music was the primary activity. As I have gotten older, less and less music has inspired me to devote my full attention to it. Now music has become more of an accompaniment to my life, a sort of background thing and the feeling is amazing. I got the new Florence & The Machine album, Ceremonials!! Absolutely stunning vocals and lyrics swell beautifully with dark, haunting, and exciting music, with the instrumentation flowing so perfectly into the songs! Its Incredible.

1, Never Let Me Go- Florence + The Machine
This song seems to be about SURRENDER. Not giving up (an act of despair) but giving in (an act of embrace and devotion). This is about the pleasure of being overwhelmed, something akin to masochistic delight.

Ostensibly, the singer surrenders to the ocean, and lets it pull her to the bottom. All her concerns and prayers are as nothing any more because the all-encompassing sea reduces her to nothing.

But this is more metaphor, than reality, as the refrain "Never let me go," suggests that life continues after the surrender, and the willing victim desires to be overwhelmed forever. It's like the moment of orgasm, where you barely exist as a thinking person, and want to stay there forever.

It's the decision to surrender to a passion or desire, that others may question (branding you a sinner), but you don't care, and beg that desire to embrace you forever, to NEVER LET YOU GO.
2, All This And Heaven Too- Florence & The Machine

Okay, so love is really confusing. She can't understand it, no matter how much education she's had or poetry she's written. She's been scrawling songs about it forever, but that doesn't mean she really gets it. She wishes she could comprehend it, if just for a moment. The last line is BRILLIANT. "Words were never so useful, so I'm screaming out a language that I never knew existed before." She knows she can't describe love with words, so this made up language will have to do.

Nice to know that it's not just us mortals who find love confusing.